Thursday, August 9, 2012

New Dog Old Tricks

Halle Berry is 45 years old.... FOURTY FIVE!!!!

We call them cougars and MILFs but what is the allure of an older woman? When I say older woman I don’t mean someone’s grandmother, I mean a tolerable “double your age” maximum difference, with a VERY superficial evaluation on looks after the median. Anything above double your age on the scale is dangerously close to “she could be your mother” territory and Dr. Sigmund Freud had a lot to say about that particular fetish.
I am not privileged to have partaken of the “finer wines” in my lifetime but it IS a constant curiosity. Here are some of the reasons for that and as usual the first culprit is the media. Television and movies portray seductive older women as eternally sexy. This is an impossibly high standard for the real life older woman to live up to but some DO try and succeed. The successful ones are the ones referred to as “cougars” or MILFs.
MILFs are just the targets of daydreams but cougars know they seek younger men and weave themselves into an ideal fantasy from their body frame to their demeanor. Secondly, older women have a certain aura of confidence in interactions which is attractive. Age appropriate women are young enough to have that constant feeling that there just might be something better. It makes them unsure and subsequently flaky in relationships. Younger men will respond to the advances of a cougar because we LOATHE mind games. With a tedious work schedule and/or large varsity course load who has time to figure out the “emotional tone” of a text message!?
Cougars are devoid of mind games. They know what they want and they make an unmistakable move with just the right amount of innuendo to alert the target that “This is not false advertising, it is happening”. Younger men are not of the confidence experience of our older counterparts whom I don’t know if they have a cool name among the women who date them. May I suggest “Bobcat”?
With the exception of the lucky ones who learn early, the rest of us guys are still in the learning phase where a girlfriend’s sudden unwarranted silent treatment is something to be concerned about. But a cougar is direct. She will actually give a guy a comprehensive schedule like a teacher because that is what she is (literally in some instances). In addition, cougars are excellent pillow dictionaries into the inner workings of the female mind.
Furthermore, cougars are probably the only women other than a mother a guy will take criticism from without having their ego bruised. This means things she tells him about his sexual prowess, fashion sense and demeanor will not be taken as critical but as practical advice. It is like a learning experience with carnal benefits. Sounds good doesn’t it? My experience with the topic mainly consists of what I have learned from “barstool confessions” from older women and younger men who date them. So I am not declaring myself an empirical authority on the subject but I don’t necessarily think it’s the worst idea in the world.
But a female friend of mine asked me why men are allowed to do such things yet people frown upon women who do the same. The answer is simple, for men there are far less emotional and physical ramifications than for women. But if it makes anyone out there feel better just interchange the word “woman” throughout this article with “man”.


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