Friday, August 31, 2012

MOVIE REVIEW:TOTAL RECALL

 
What is real? What is recall? These are the questions the trailer asks us as we journey through the puzzles in this supposed psychological action film. Total Recall is a remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger film of the same name. It centers around a man who find himself bored with life and wanting to fill a piece of himself that he thinks is missing, he just doesn’t know what it is yet. Once strapped into a chair at an organization called “Rekall” (why they spell it that why I’m not really sure), Quaid (Colin Ferrell) is thrust into this cat and mouse escapade where people (including his wife) want him dead and where he has the skills of a secret agent. Is Quaid an agent or not? That is the big question this movie throws at us, with some fun and exciting acting sequences, while we try and piece it all together.
The best thing about the movie are the action scenes. That fact right there will give most of you comfort because this is an action movie after all. People are going to want and expect great action to get the adrenaline pumping and this movie has a lot of it. You’ll especially love it if you are a fan of Sci-Fi movies in general, because the weaponry and set pieces used for the action to take place are really breathtaking. I will admit, I did find myself a tad bored during the first half hour or so of this movie. I have no problem with dialogue or character development because all good movies need that to move forward. But in this case, the first half hour was boring because it didn’t seem like it had much going for it. The emotion is pretty vacant and the futuristic set pieces, while cool to look at, really don’t “pop” until the action takes place.  In an age where everything seems to be filmed using shaky cam and often unnecessary 3D conversions, it was a real treat to see straight forward, well choreographed action stunts.
When people go into an action movie, they don’t necessarily expect the performances to be praiseworthy. I’m not looking for Oscar-calibre stuff here, just that they can fit the role and play it well. There are big stars in this movie (Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston), and most of them don’t go past average. The best performance out of the ensemble, to me, was Beckinsale. She creates a crazy, action-hungry character that could potentially lead her own spin-off movie if they wanted to go that route. I’m all for watching a beautiful woman wielding a gun while taking control of the situation around her any day. As for everybody else, as I said, they are average at best. Colin Farrell serves as a much better replacement to Schwarzenegger than I thought he would, but he still lacks that leading man charm that everybody looks for in their action heroes. Jessica Biel is kind of in the same boat. She plays a woman who knows the truth about Farrell’s character and tries to help him put the pieces together while completing a task at hand. For the most part she was fine, but she never did anything that made me think “wow, she is the only one who could have done that.” I feel like Scarlett Johansson or Angelina Jolie could have played the role and it would have been the exact same.
When thinking back on the movie as I sat down to write this review, I don’t think I had as much fun as I wanted to have. Sure, the action was exciting, the set pieces are well thought out and the acting certainly didn’t ruin anything. So what was it? Well, I’ve seen the original 1990 version and think that is the better one. It has a much darker tone, but has a much bigger feel and works as a better mind-bender than this one. However, I think if had not seen that one, then this one would have been a much better experience to sit through. The scenes that revolve around the tension of whether or not Quaid is in the chair back at Rekall, living his fantasy, or an actual secret agent actually seemed boring because you know the twists and turns the story is going to take before it takes them. Basically, if you plan on seeing this movie anytime soon during it’s theater run, then watch this one first. I know that sounds crazy because the original one is the better of the two, but you will have a better theater experience not knowing anything at all. Then, I would watch the original after. That way you had fun with this movie but can now appreciate the one that came before it as a better movie.
This is summer – the time when blockbusters reign supreme. Some people want the art house films, but unfortunately, they’ll have to wait a little longer. Right now, Total Recall (2012) gives any action junkie their fill of what they came for – fun summer entertainment. I enjoyed myself watching Total Recall and I really hope it finds its audience. Despite the flaws, it is a thrill ride that’s heavy on the action. Just don’t expect to remember much of it down the road.
Grade: B-

THEY DONT DESRVE..

They don't mean harm to us ,they are just the same as us,why would we segregate them,who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?They don't deserve all this segregation.
We live with this people,some are friends and family ,but what measures do we take in helping them.
 
  
 
The video above explains more..

KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (kFC) TANZANIA WANTS YOU..

A crime i tell you ,perhaps i should arrest them for it ,how could they be this wanted and pretend like they don't care ...Heeey you wake up and not be bias i tell you..
I managed to visit a nearby country just because of one thing, Chicken.. Stupid right? Hell no..you just cant conclude that way , its not just a chicken i tell you its KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken.)

My Salivary glands are over working now , mmmhh look at that weird granny on the KFC logo ,what a sarcastic smile that portrays (bring your money Kid).
Despite loving KFC i have a problem that really disturbs me and my lads , Why do we have to go to a nearby country(Kenya) for KFC? Whats wrong with this people? Halloooo ...we also want Chickens and not only just chickens but KFC .
That magic box will do (a piece of chicken, a Colonel Burger, Regular Chips, Regular Mash and Gravy and a 350ml Drink)
I know some of you would say "oohh this idiot is such a food monger"  oh yeah if that's what you think of me then its right ,but call me a food monger only for KFC otherwise you will get a heavy punch.
In Nairobi KFC has done it all ,opening few branches like at The Junction Shopping Mall 2nd floor , and there more places like Kimathi Street and Galleria Mall in Karen.
In Tanzania empty , empty ,empty ,but why KFC ,we eagerly all want the services ,especially me and my lads .We really need one please..
Bring the fancy looking place to my country too,bring the taste of chicken to my home ,after few beers with my lads that full bucket of chicken will do. come on....
But waiting till you bring the service i think it will take a while ,but here we come +254...Kentucky Team Mongers.
By Issah QM Msongo
Photos:A.Onyango

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

MY NEW MARKETING STRATEGY (A NUDE WOMAN/MAN)

Am well known of managing different brands in East Africa ,expertise in Marketing field .I have tried using various methods to reach my marketing goals and as far i have reached cant complain my clients are well aware of what i do and my boss appreciates.
what scares me is i have a new method that i think it will sell everything that i will market in a speed of light ,but how do i present it at my boss table.Will he think am a retard or this time he might conclude i am on drugs especially the bubbly leaf.
Ok let me talk about my new method but please don't say Issah QM Msongo is now a pervert but its my way of thinking,i have used various strategies to promote the product on market ,they have worked but i still need the one that will make a sell at a speed of light.
I buy cheese at the market and it has a cows picture , i buy a soap it has some funny Alovera leaves , I buy a t-shirt it has various writings.Then i visit a cloth line shop and i find a t-shirt that has a naked girl on it ,i ask the seller he tells me he bought a stock of 25 t shirts the other day and today only one piece remains...Aaannhhaa i hope you have got what am trying to say.
What if i use a naked girl to promote a drink? am quite sure it will sell and quite sure to all type of man,one would want to drink while watching a naked girl on the bottle.And for the ladies a drink that will have label of a sexy looking man with 6 packs.
I know how you feel right now ,you might be saying ohh yeah his right or this stupid idiot.It disturbs really..let me try sharing it with my boss and see how retard he is going to see me..
She is marketing pasta,how well are men going to eat them?you can imagine before thinking am pervert.




Important Swahili Words

 Swahili is widely spoken language in East Africa. Here are some few basic Swahili words you should know when traveling to East Africa.
 



Jambo – “Hello!” A friendly “Jambo” goes a long way.

Habari – Also “Hello / Good Morning.” Use this one when speaking with older people.

Nzuri – “Beautiful / Good / Nice / I am fine.”

Shikamo – Literally “I hold your feet.” This greeting is for your elders. Young children will often mutter Shikamo under their breath when you walk by. It may sound like “Sh…ooo”.

Marahaba - The reply to “Shikamo”. Literally translated to something like “ I am delighted, I don’t get that every day.”
Other useful phrases that will come in handy:

Asante – “Thank you!” You will use this word the most in your conversations.

Sana-- (very) Used as in Asante-sana- Thank you VERY much.

Pole- “I am sorry for your misfortune.” This applies to everything from getting chalk dust on your clothes, to tripping, dropping an item or sneezing.

Pole pole – “Slowly, slowly.” Everything is pole pole in Africa.

Chakula-- “FOOD!” If you hear this word, walk towards the place you heard it.

 Nydio / Hapana – “Yes and No” respectively. Some phrasebooks will tell you that hapana is rude. It is not. As long as you don’t say it forcefully, you are fine. I haven’t heard another word for ‘no’ since I have been here.

Hatari - “DANGER!!!!!” This could be a snake in the road or a warning about an endemic in the area. Take note and proceed with caution.

We Should Worry About Ebola

 Recently am checking on the news and i see these satirical article about a thief who stole a phone in a quarantined Ebola ward in Uganda. The thief got away with the phone and the the deadly contagious diseases. So he now has to fight the police and the deadly Ebola virus.
 The Western media is busy contemplating why didn't the thief acknowledge the "quarantine" sign, without realizing how most people down here can't understand what the word surely mean. So they are busy saying karma is a b**ch ,thou shall not steal  and other comedic comments. Without realizing they have some how played a role in the unfortunate event.

 
 
The Ebola virus, which can cause Ebola hemorrhagic fever, is a contagious sickness that includes painful symptoms such as rash, vomiting, diarrhea and bleeding form every orifice.
  It has no cure, and it is still spreading at minimal pace but if not well contained it might cause something we can't imagine. maybe imagine the conspiracy movie Contagion. And since it can't cross the Atlantic it doesn't mean we and the Westerners have to lessen our efforts in fighting out these disease.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

MOVIE REVIEW:EXPENDABLES 2

 
Is it a masterpiece of cinema or anything close to that? Hell no. Is it at least an extremely fun summer action flick that far supersedes the original? Well you bet your ass it is! The Expendables 2 is everything that the first film should’ve been, and that’s thanks to great direction by Simon West, action scenes that are actually comprehensible, witty one-liners, a great cast, and a very high fun factor. If you’re an action movie fan, then please don’t miss out on The Expendables 2! It is FAR better than its predecessor, and you won’t regret seeing it! You think am done ? hell no.now lets roll to the review..

The story picks up where the prequel leaves off. Barney Ross (Stallone) is still the leader of a badass group of veteran warmongers taking on black ops for hire. But Church (Willis) has not forgotten the debt owed to him from the first movie. He comes back to collect with CIA level threats capable of making anyone pee their pants. Ross reluctantly accepts a mission to get Maggie (Nan Yu) to a plane crash site in a warzone so that she can retrieve a map to a plutonium cache. But they are ambushed by Vilain (Van Damme… and not a very creative name for the villain) who murders the newest and youngest member of the pack Billy (Liam Hemsworth). After the death of the younger version of Thor, the team goes on a “hunt to kill” mission to take down Vilain with action sequences reminiscent of Rambo movies.
The pro for this movie is that it is exactly what it sets out to be. It is an action movie for those who remember why the cast were a big deal prior to the release of The Matrix. There are plenty of punches, gunshots and explosions solidifying the movie as the ultimate GUY’S MOVIE! In addition, the wittiness and clever use of Rambo, Chuck Norris and The Terminator puns were an excellent addition. The con of the movie lies in its cast. Seriously!? I don’t care how well trained they are, these men are geriatrics! There is NO way any of them are capable of some of the things we see in this movie. But without a doubt, I declare that the fist fights in this movie are what I expected from Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. Without a doubt, Expendables 2 is a movie recommendation for guys on a Boy’s Night Out. But for the ladies, maybe staring into Liam Hemsworth’s big blues will suffice. He REALLY IS like a puppy in this movie.
 

WHY PUNCH A WOMAN??

God created things on purpose,am quit sure about that,he created a woman and gave her all that was possible to make her complete,i respect all women ,doesn't matter she is a retard or a prostitute because i know what they are capable of.I tell you women are the strongest things i have seen on earth,i don't mean muscular .
Every man you see roaming around or successful in some kind came from a women,i don't think on earth lives a person who was just thrown from the sky,if there is please wake me up.
The all point of me scribbling this article is the disgust i have for my fellow men that are well known of raising their hands to hit a woman.

What do you teach your Children?to hit their mothers? I know how women can be annoying at times but why conclude with a punch ?
Today as i board a public bus ,i see a women with a swollen eye,i couldn't take it so i had to ask what happened,it took much time for her to answer me but as she was almost at her destination she tells me the husband made her eye swell,it touched me i tell you ,why would one use a fellow human being as a punching bag.
I am 2 decade young man,not in marriage already ,i have tried to talk to some few  people that i know are in marriage and shame on the answers they gave me,some tell me "you are too young to know anything", "Grow up and see" who cares me being young .The thing is why box a woman,they are lovely people created by God despite  their few problems.
If you are a women reading this article and you know out their there is that bully  hitting you take actions ,report the bully or boil that hot porridge just like Madea said and pour it to the bully ,trust me he will never ever lay his hands on you.
And for man who beat their wife's its high time you all stop,it going to be a vice versa now just like Kenyan woman who box their husbands. Watch out.

ANDROID HAMMERS APPLE ??

Hahahahah i love the above image,i always annoy my sister when i show it to her,she is a pain i tell you,she owns a iphone that makes her go around bragging much ,i own my Android .
If i were to ask most of you between apple and Android what do you prefer most of you would answer that bitten apple.
I so far don't hate Apple products ,but i think the late nerd  was selfish at some point ,(if only you have used apple you can understand).
Last week as i was watching news , i heard this two enemies haven't finished their case ,they are still at court trying to find justice,well android is fast ,apple scratched his head for four years to come up with a tab and there goes android with galaxy tab in three month if am not wrong.
Looolll..i tell you Android can be selfish,why hammer that fancy looking glass apple ? i would like to explain to you why i love Android?
  • Fancy graphics
  • Most android phones allow you to tweak the display capabilities so much that sending a text message becomes a thrilling experience.
  • android phones have a very pretty graphical user interface (display).
  • android phones have faster processing speeds which, for the user, means less time wasted turning your “frozen” phone on and off.
  •  Good at internet and the WI-Fi is the best
  •  Basically its the best comparing to other phones
 PROBLEM
Androids big problem to my point of view is the battery  storage ,it can be poor and its because it consumes much power.
I don't mean to convince you to get an Android but in my point of view you should have one.

Monday, August 27, 2012

GET TO KNOW TARANGIRE NATIONAL PARK..

Tarangire National Park is a national park in Tanzania.
Tarangire National Park is the sixth largest national park in Tanzania after Ruaha, Serengeti, Mikumi, Katavi and Mkomazi. The name of the park originates from the Tarangire river that crosses through the park, being the only source of water for wild animals during dry seasons. During the dry season thousands of animals migrate to the Tarangire National Park from Manyara.
It lies a little distance to the south east of Lake Manyara and covers an area of approximately 2,850 square kilometers(1,100 square miles.) The landscape and vegetation is incredibly diverse with a mix that is not found anywhere else in the northern safari circuit. The hilly landscape is dotted with vast numbers of Baobab trees, dense bush and high grasses.
File:Tarangire-Natpark800600.jpg

Flora & Fauna

The park is famous for its huge number of elephants, baobab trees and tree climbing lions. Visitors to the park can expect to see any number of resident zebra and wildebeest in addition to the less common animals. Other common animals include waterbuck, giraffe, and olive baboons.
Home to more than 550 species, the park is a haven for bird enthusiasts who can expect so see dozens of species even in the dry season. The swamps are the focus of the largest selection of breeding birds anywhere in the world. Yellow-collared Lovebirds are a common bird sighting in the trees along the Tarangire River.
The park is also famous for the termite mounds that dot the landscape. Those that have been abandoned are often seen to be home to dwarf mongoose.

WINE AND CHEESE PARTY...

This weekend me and my lads had much fun,we attended a cheese and wine party .Am well known by my lads that i love cheese.
The event was organized by I.G.M consulting services under our beautiful lady Esther Lawrence,what a hard working women with full of enthusiasm.The event was proudly sponsored by Tanzania Distilleries and OMASI co.
The event was exquisite and one of a kind ,every one was enjoying to the fullest,Thanks to the Tanzania Distillers for the lovely wines.
Wine Bar by Tanzania Distilleries
  The wine and the cheese werent just it,there was groovy music from stiggy's band.I loved the music and so did the rest,you could notice by the way the wobbled.

He played very well
Lets Talk Cheese
Omasi a company that provided the event with Cheese that night,I personally i never knew that cheese was classified in many different ways ,why not share it with you.
What is cheese?
a food made from the pressed curds of milk, firm and elastic or soft and semi-liquid in texture:
Engiteng Cheese?
Engiteng is a pure authentic Maasai brand. Literally, Engiteng means ‘cow’ in Maasai language. Engiteng is the result of the idea to create income generating activities in Maasai land, benefiting local communities and providing new business solutions to reduce rural poverty.
Cheese Classes.
  • Creamy Cheese - Just from making
  • smokey Cheese
  • Matured Cheese
  • Morani Cheese
  • Young Cheese
  • Country Cheese                                                                                                                              
This Imagi wine is sweet



Imagi White wine

 Imagi white wine is made using Makutapara White Grapes .It is straw Yellow  in Colour with hints of honey and tropical fruit.Best served with salad and Poultry dishes.
 

 Imagi Red has been made fro Makutupora red grapes,it is ruby red in colour,well balanced with hints of red berries and chocolate .Should be enjoyed with Nyama choma /matured cheese.
The above wines are the ones we had at the party,including Dodoma wines.
How crazy it got
What a party i tell you...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

FAMOUS BEGGAR IN TANZANIA DIES...

I really never knew him,but all i used to hear is his famous name Matonya ,i was touched by his death..I hate sarcastic people and this is what i think was going on.
Introduction
Matonya was an old man that used to sit beside the road and beg for help,He was and still the most famous Beggar in Tanzania,every one knew him at some point , the government used to talk of him.He used to make 50,000 /100,000/= Tshs ($95) per month begging .He started begging since 1961,He used to take begging as his job,he said unless the Government build a house for him and provide him with daily food that's when he can quit.May his soul rest in Peace.
The Late Matonya (Died 24th /8/2012)
Where my Critics Begin.
During the weekend as usual i had a stroll down the town to have that view of the world because am scared that am being a laptoholic ,so i thought of the beautiful walk .
As i pass almost every bus stage i see different newspapers with headings that would attract anybody,but as i try to peep through a strong crowd and have a clear view on the newspaper that's when i noticed every newspaper had Matonya's image followed with sorrow words.
Matonya was well known isn't it? In my point of view people used to make money behind his stories ,reporters would do an interview and the next morning it will be aired ,they get paid matonya gets nothing,he goes back to the road to ask for help.
Today the government representatives are feeling sorry because Matonya died ,while he was alive no body ever thought of building a house for this man ,all they used to do is talk and talk ,shame it can be i tell you.
Matonya's Children standing next to their fathers grave.
Friends and relatives that attended the funeral
Please even the the funeral?Could have it been so much even in supporting it ? What could have it taken ? You were all busy writing on papers,and all pretending you loved him ppssshh how sarcastic you can be. 

Friday, August 24, 2012

WHAT IS LOVE?

Nobody knows it better ,it can drown your sorrow ,make you feel useless and lost ,surely none can be a commando on this ,whether you are muscular like Rambo or skinny like smokey its so hard to know it.Even the big pretenders on TV screens loose their flamboyance on this.L.O.V.E.
Yes love,i know how pervert you can get when seeing the word love..
If we were able to question love that how many times have you made people cry ? am sure it would answer uncountable. How many times have you made people commit suicide ?it will say as we are speaking one is committing suicide.
perhaps i would ask myself again WHAT IS LOVE ? maybe the meaning should be changed to a feeling that makes you cry and commit suicide.
I don't know about you but surely it has done me bad at some point.Yesterday our drinking lads turned down all other topics and started recalling their Heartbroken scenes ,that told me how drunk they were since they were so emotional and busy cuddling their bottles while crying.
Its hard to plan for who you will share the rest of your life with now days especially when you have only lived for two decades like me.
I hate to watch soaps because i think they are all made to give us hope , Eminem decided to ask What is Love? thats the same question i have.
Am tired of seeing people crying,my work colleague she has been crying since last week ,it hurts because she cant even talk to me, she says you man are pigs,i asked her back if we are pigs then what are you ladies warthogs or??
I might have a solution to every gender here , I think love exists ,but the problem is can you really search for it and grab it,all i know a lot of people are busy grabbing bubbles and thinking its love ,well that's LUST..when it comes to relationships people get desperate and that is the biggest problem i say.  We all think of our desires and not the love..
Crying in the rain will never help,but it will just add more water to the ground.  

By: Issah QM Msongo.

PARENTS ABANDONING THEIR CHILDREN..

I wasn't planning to write anything anytime soon about parenting there was something that got me, got deep under my skin. There are times when I try to rationalize why some parents leave their children behind and never go back for them, about why are they so terrible at parenting or are they ? There are thousands of reasons why parents leave their children, reasons like they're afraid of commitments, responsibilities, think they're too screwed up to take care of kids when they weren't taken care of as they were supposed to when they were kids themselves, they don't have an example, don't have a starting point, that way being selfish 'cause sometimes life or in this case, raising kids, is about taking chances, learning on your own, nobody is perfect and I'm sure your kids will accept you as a parent with all of your imperfections. Still, thousands of kids are left wondering why their parents left them, was it because they are not loved anymore, was it because of something they did ? 'Cause they'll behave and never ever do wrong again. Most of the time it's not because of something their kids did, they just leave, just because they weren't ready.
I wanna draw a bit more attention to those parents who knew that by staying with their children they would mess them up, do harm, bring damage, they knew better that by staying they would hurt them, that's why they left, somewhere deep inside them they knew they wouldn't make good parents as everyone knows parenting is not for everybody and if you don't see yourself as parents that's ok, you can make a good friend, a good uncle or aunt or maybe it must pass years before you decide of having kids of your own, you shouldn't listen to what society tells, it doesn't know any better than you do.
But back to parents who left and never came back, their children will wonder and will never stop blaming themselves, even for a little, even if they shouldn't do that, they must think that their parents made them an ultimate gift, the chance to grow up without being beaten, abused verbally or physically, suffering form hunger, being hated, slapped around. The kids who were abused receive the skill to read micro-expressions in a very short amount of time, either disgust or anger, they have no problems detecting these micro-expressions, this way auto-protection kicking in. In a way it can be considered a a gift, being able to read people so easy, but from another point of view it's a burden as knowing what people think and feel about you might stay in your way of letting things go and simply be happy, might stay in your way of becoming friends even if those friends might never last, but you won't know that 'cause you never let your guards down, because they were down once and you got hurt and you don't wanna let that happen again, you simply can't take that risk.

I'm addressing myself to kids all over the world who were left by their mothers or fathers, some of you will never find closure, you may never find answer to the "why" question but try think this way, they left because if they have stayed they would have hurt me in so many ways and I wouldn't be what I am today, I am a great person and I wish I could say it was thanks to them but I can't, either way it's because of them.

Not all of you can think this way because the pain you felt while being kicked from one foster family to another might still be fresh and it made you hate your birth parents even more, for not taking a chance on raising you and giving you a future that you deserve but remember that there are millions of kids who's parents never left and they still got abused, they still got hurt, so please, some of you, feel lucky that your parents left, you got your amount of pain but it's comforting when you think of tons of pain that those kids feel because their parents never bothered to get to know what a real parent is. We are all victims of abuse but this doesn't mean we get to mess our own children, we must learn from our parents mistakes and never ever repeat them, if you did you have no excuse. Don't be a piece of crap of a parent because of your parents, be a great parent because of them, it doesn't mean you must give them credit, give yourself credit that despite having crappy parents you have risen above, if your parents were horrible to you and you still managed to become a great one you deserve a medal, because before you became a great parent you got to go through tons of crap, your life was dozens of times more difficult comparing to others.

Think about it, some of you have the chance of letting what happened go easy, use that chance and be free of the burden you have been carrying around for years, I wish I had this chance but I don't. Do it for me, do it for those who can't let go, or simply because their circumstances don't allow them to. It's complicated, it will always be but it can be a lot less complicated and that is something you should settle for.

This is kinda it. I have written one article about parenting before this one, if you still got some time to spend don't hesitate to give a read to"Be The Best Parent Your Kid Can Have".

Be well and be good to one another and step by step you will make this world a better place to live in.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

MINION MANAGEMENT...

 First of all, let us define “Minion”. These are people (and some small to mid-sized animals) whose purpose in the organization is to ensure that all of your, dangerously close to insane, schemes succeed. Some people use fancy terms like “juniors” or “subordinates” to try and symbolize a “round table hierarchy” where people are equal.  This is a fallacy. In any organization there are superiors and inferiors. So make sure to stomp out any ideas of equality early by referring to all who serve under you as “Faithful Minion” e.g. “Good morning faithful minion! Be a good one and fetch daddy a cup of tea, would you?” (Extra points if she is female and you are condescending).
NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WHEN TALKING! It is a common philosophical ideal that “The Eyes are the window to the soul”. Your minions should not be allowed to detect that you have a soul or anything that can stimulate empathy. This makes them believe that they can ask for days off and “sick leave” is not an offense. Furthermore, when interacting with minions, ALWAYS keep your attention focused on what you were originally doing, such as reading the paper, sending e-mails or conquering Angry Birds. Only look at them if they make corrections to your orders to ask, “Are you questioning me?” See, as an added advantage, when someone is in trouble you CAN maintain intense eye contact to communicate your disappointment while you demand an explanation for their failure. It confuses them because you never do it. So SURELY you MUST be really upset, right?
In addition, never let them address you as anything less than “Sir”. Personally, I demand that all of my minions refer to me as “Father”. At first brush that might seem creepy but think about it. It is a LIFELONG declaration of my superiority over them. Just as a father is the head of the house hold, I am the head of the department. Anyone who is currently cracking “Nyeri” jokes after reading that and works under me had better be laughing while clearing their desk. NEVER foster humor among the minions. They are ONLY allowed to laugh at YOUR jokes. If you find them giggling by the water cooler and you have not delivered a punch line then punish them.
Do NOT punish your minions obviously. They have legal defenses from “unwarranted attacks”. Instead, single out an offender and raise them above the rest in status and responsibility. Make him or her “the guy” in your department. Call on them for advice on mundane tasks, congratulate them in theatrically public manners and regularly ask them to give everyone else their work on your behalf. The rest of the minions will alienate them from the group and when the offender has no “back up”, crush them. Return them to the blue collar depths from whence they came. The shame and ridicule they will receive from their co-minions will teach them never to cross you again.
Finally, uniform them. If you grew up as a part of the supposedly “counter-productive” 8-4-4 system in Kenya then you know how effective uniforms are. Not only do they equalize all the minions but the leader (you) is clearly distinct from the rest of the pack. Making everyone else except YOU the same is the alpha trait of the real leader in any organization. So, I think you get the idea of how to handle minions. But remember not to disrupt this hierarchy. If YOUR superior does these things to you, remember, it is a chain of command.

REMINDER FROM MSONGO..

 
This is to all my followers ,Msongo BlogSpot is here to give you articles that will thrill you,articles that are either part of our Adventures  and things that happen in our country Tanzania and the world in respect.For those who have been sending emails complaining they cant view some of the articles because they are not displayed ,please go to older post just below the blog,we don't delete our articles.We kindly thank you all for following.

UPCOMING MODELING ARTIST...

Fashion to me is a time traveler watch that changed lady gaga into wearing meat as cloth,when i look around the fashion industry i can see a lot , i can see the good and the bad of the industry especially in the country that am living in.Today i will reveal the good an the bad about this industry on my tomorrows article but before i do so i would like to shear a conversation that i had with a young upcoming model called Patrick Mathew.

Msongo: Hi Pat ,tell us more about you?
Pat: born in a simple middle family where we were taught to love everyone and respect,no matter how big or small.Am a man of my instincts and following them have always made a success.

Msongo: Got hobbies?
Pat: Yes Q , like movies , as you see am athletic this is all because of Basketball and  i can waste much time watching the Fashion Channels.

Msongo: why do you love modeling?
Pat:First i like modeling it is in my blood i like to do fashion shows and also am a fashionista but although am up becoming a supermodel but one am sure i will be known over many countries in Africa and abroad.

Msongo: got role models?
Pat:My role model is Justin Timberlake because he is  a fashion designer and also doing modeling and in Tanzania is Martin kadinda a Tanzania designer, speaking of my home town Arusha i would say you,Issah QM Msongo a fashion icon and a hard working guy i have ever met.

Msongo:Where do you see yourself in coming years ?
Pat:I would  brag and say after 5 years forget all fashion designers in Tanzania,no Ali Rhemtulla ,Mustafa Hassanali or Martin Kadinda .

Msongo:If you were told to give much thanks to people who helped you reach where you are right now who would you thank?
Pat:Surely my Gratitude will get back to you , you dressed me and made me wear among of your brands last year ,its like you introduced me to everything. Issah QM Msongo i really appreciate brother ,you opened them doors for me ,without forgetting Hannifa and Peace..You guys inspire me a lot.