Friday, May 16, 2014

Campus Hostels at Midnight: What are students up to?

Room number one
Onyango is busy banging a first year chic he just met the other day. First he showed her where Hall 1 lecture hall is, or whatever it’s called, then took her to BSSC for some Chips and fresh juice and chips.  In the evening it was a train of Gin bottles for her at the Students Annex and now she’s all confused, and now he’s banging her. Good job Onyango. I’m ashamed of you. I thought ponyoka na fresha ended when Robert  was in campus.

Room number two
Joe had a long day and he’s snoring loudly.  In the evening he had carried Laura’s heavy shopping from the gate to  Hostel, a distance of about 5 kilometers. Laura is a sophisticated uptown chic while Joe is a village boy.  He thinks she likes him but little does he know that she is just with him because of the CATs and assignments. She would rather die than give him the P.

Room number three
Edu is trying to get some sleep but he can’t. His body is itching everywhere. It’s the bedbugs. He thinks to himself, ‘Why can’t the administration do something?’  The bedbugs have become too much. He calls his friend Kevo at and asks him if he can come and share the bed with him. Kevo refuses. He doesn’t want the transfer of bedbugs to his bed. What happened to ‘Akufaaye kwa dhiki ndiye rafiki?’ (A friend in need is a friend in deed)

Room number four
Tings a gwan. It’s puff puff pass on session here.  A fine reggae tune by Chuck Fenda called The Herb is playing on the woofer. Inside the room, William is shouting. He says his pen is walking towards him, coming to attack him.  George is laughing loudly at William. He knows it’s the effect of the weed. Don’t get caught guys, you are going to regret it.

Room number five
John has gone to shower. He hajust made a mistake of leaving his room door open. His roommate is asleep. He comes back to find his laptop and phone missing. He wakes up his roommate and asks him if he saw the thief. The roommate has no idea. John feels like crying, he just bought that laptop two days ago. He still hadn’t even put riddims in it.

Room number six
Karis is still watching a movie with Beth. He still hasn’t figure out a way to go for it. His heart is pounding fast. He badly wants this girl.  He can see she is beginning to get sleepy. The movie is boring her. He hasn’t told her anything. He foolishly asks, “Can I kiss you?”. She is shocked. “What? You know you are like a brother to me.” Haha. My friend, once you are in the brother zone, you will never even touch her. Friend zone is even much better. Brother zone? She won’t even consider. That’s incest

Room number nine
Dan has been standing at the door for 30 minutes. He’s still trying to open it. He’s very drunk and can’t quite locate the lock. He’s seeing several locks. He shouts his roommate’s name a few more times, forgetting that his roommate isn’t in. Of course if he was in, the door wouldn’t have been locked from outside. After several unsuccessful attempts, he blacks out and lies on the floor.

Room number eight
Michael is studying. He’s a focused student who cares about his future. He has a CAT in two days’ time and knows he has to do his best.  Be blessed Michael- a true student.

5 ways to be popular in campus

In our teens and early twenties, we all wish to be recognized in one way or another. It’s human nature. Being a person that no one really cares about or values can be really stressful. Boys always crave for respect and high recognition while girls usually crave for admiration and praise. The desire to be someone recognizable and influential is sometimes beyond our control. Campus is one of the best places to be popular. But how exactly can you get popular? Here are five ways

1.   Be mysterious
It’s very important to be mysterious. Mystery creates room for imagination in the minds of others. Imagination then creates desire and the need to discover or explore. Do not throw yourself everywhere and to everybody. People will get bored of you. There are many ways to be mysterious and unique but some are more effective than others.
For instance, a guy who misses most of the classes but always scores high marks in exams always makes people wonder. Someone who is quite and composed will make others talk. Members of opposite sex always analyze each other so if you are unique and mysterious, word will spread.
anu girls
2.   Be active
Active and domineering people automatically create names for themselves. If you are good at something, perfect it. It’s wise to be involved in campus activities that you are passionate about. Make sure the activities that you get into are those that many people have access to. You can be a sportsman, a class rep, a student leader, a musician, a comedian, a club leader or an events organizer. Campus has lots of opportunities even in entrepreneurship. Bone fide entrepreneurs also make names for themselves. Create a busy schedule for yourself outside the classroom.

3.      Academics
Learning is the major reason why there’s university education. Students go to campus to learn and get high honors. You can be popular for being hardworking. If you spend most of the time in a large library you will definitely get known by most students. They will bump into you or interact with you at some point.
In class you can be the person that answers all the difficult questions. The best way to do this is by sitting at the back. Students who prefer the back are always assumed to be less bright, so if you are bright and sit at the back, you’ll definitely get popular. Chances are that you will be the only one in that zone who knows the answers. Most people will always turn to look you’re your hand is up. Make sure you add a commanding voice while at it. The type of voice that makes a lady think, “That’s the kind of voice from a father of my kids would really make them disciplined.”
4. Dressing
You have to dress well in order to be respected. Bright sneakers and multicolored clothes will only make you look childish. Tons of make-up and totally revealing dresses will only make you look like an attention-seeking cheap girl. Don’t try so hard to look good. Take time and learn about fashion. Always select the best clothes. If there’s an influential fashion icon you admire, try to emulate them. Buy clothes that make you look really smart. Strive to be classy not swaggy.

5. Be crazy
Being crazy and normal at the same time will really give you numerous points. Girls particularly love crazy guys because of the thrill they offer. Picture this, when young people look for friends, they always opt for those who are entertaining and create fun moments. Have a sense of humor, always make people laugh. This way, those who have spent time with you will always tell others how you are fun to be with. Those who have been told will in turn strive to get a piece of you someday. This way, you will get popular.