Tuesday, March 19, 2013

5 Best Ways to Kill Yourself Slowly

What would be 5 best ways to kill yourself slowly? I bet there are numerous answers such as slow poison or something like that. If suicide has ever crossed your mind, I am sure you would come up with hundred ways of doing it. But here, I am writing something offbeat that can kill you extremely slowly. These may take several years, but surely they will kill you. Now that is different, isn’t it?

Most times, I end up writing about the “top 5s” or something similar to that. I wanted to write something different this time for a change. In fact, going forward, I would also like to include articles that are very close to my heart. Hence I decided to start with something offbeat as an experiment. This article is a mixture of fun and thought provoking, at least according to me. This article may also hit a few sensitive nerves, but as I said, I wanted to make it a bit thought provoking.

So, let us see what these 5 best ways to kill yourself are.

1) Be a chain smoker

Everyone knows the harmful effects of smoking. Yet, there is something about smoking, that you just cannot quit it, especially if you are a chain smoker. I am not talking about just cigarettes. Did you know that smoking shisha pipes (hookah) is as dangerous as a normal cigarette? I won’t list down all the harmful effects, but here are a couple of fun facts about smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoke contains 4800 chemicals out of which 69 cause cancer. Another fact of smoking is that one cigarette reduces your life by 5 minutes. So go ahead and smoke away.

2) Become an alcoholic


Now, I am not telling you to stop drinking. I myself won’t do that. But there is a difference between drinking socially and being a drunkard. Social drinking is occasional and it is alright. In fact wine is one alcohol which is even good for heart. But being a drunkard is definitely not cool. Killing brain cells and causing permanent brain damage is just one of the harmful effects alcohol has. It also ends up damaging your liver, lungs and intestine. What better way to kill yourself?

3) How about a drug addict


I am sure that there are very few ways that come close to this way of killing yourself. Let us start with simple narcotics such as crack, cocaine, heroin to some of the most dangerous drugs such as krokodil. Once you have tried and liked it, there is no returning back. The only two ways out of it are death or rehab. Drug addiction easily impairs cognition and motor skills due to the chemical changes in the brain. Certain lethal drugs like krokodil can even eat up your entire body slowly, but steadily. Now, this is one adventurous way of dying.

 4) Maintain an unhealthy lifestyle

So, you like the double cheese burger at McDonalds or Nyama Choma's at your favourite pub. You had the same thing with French fries and coke for lunch and dinner as well? And you hate fruits and vegetables? Congrats!! You just boarded the train of unhealthy living. If you need to be healthy, your body needs to get all the nutrients in the right proportions. Eating a burger or pizza or lasagna once in a while is good. But if you are living on that every day, you are bound to develop diseases and ailments. And NO!! A diet coke isn’t a good option either. Added to this unhealthy living, is lack of exercise. No doubt, obesity related diseases are on the rise in the world.

5) Get a freaking job!!

This may seem the weirdest way to kill oneself. As I said earlier, this may hit a few sensitive nerves. I know that 90% of the people will call me mad. How can being in a job kill someone? Let me explain. I am not a person who says that job is the worst thing in the world. There are many people who love their jobs. I congratulate them. But let us look at the flip side. Remember those Monday morning blues you have? And the traffic you fight every day on your way? Remember that boss of yours who watches over behind your back? Remember that office politics and the most dreaded annual appraisals? I can go on and on. But what else on earth can beat that mental stress that can lead you to a place of hopelessness? Now, isn’t that insurmountable stress and pressure a good way to kill yourself?

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