Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Top five ways to use a life properly

The thriving, robust economy is to blame for all the new buildings that are reaching for the sky. With high-rising buildings come lifts. At least most times. A friend of mine told me she was off to a meeting on the ninth floor of a building without a lift. I haven’t heard from her since then (that was a week ago) so she’s either still climbing the stairs or she set-up camp halfway to the top and is waiting for sunset to continue the journey. For those of you who go to buildings with functional lifts, here is lift etiquette picked from a website about lift etiquette.
Umm, not too close
If you walk into a lift with one person in it, resist the urge to walk and stand so close to them that they can tell what you had for supper three nights ago.

It is generally acceptable to beam a courteous ‘Hello’ to whoever’s in the lift then whip out your phone and make like you are searching for Batman’s number to report a broken pipe on a leading highway that poses a risk to global security since it can be used by Joker or one of his cronies to pummel an unsuspecting policeman to pulp. Or you could just play snake (for you with the shabby phone) or angry birds(for you with the smart phone).

It is considered treason if you break out into song and sing one that is not by a local musician. Support local artistes my friend; you don’t pay to go to their concerts, at least sing their songs in the lift. This holds only for lifts that don’t play music…which is all lifts basically.

Your thoughts
It is generally frowned-upon to start voicing your thoughts when there are others in a lift. This especially holds for thoughts like:
“Oh damn, I shouldn’t have worn the lime green pair with polka dots. Now I’m all itchy”
“I should have worn a diaper today...several meetings today; would hate to get up and leave”

We all know you cast sideways glances at yourself in the lift’s mirror surfaces. Do not walk into a full lift and shove people aside to check yourself out in those mirror surfaces.


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