Friday, May 16, 2014

Campus Hostels at Midnight: What are students up to?

Room number one
Onyango is busy banging a first year chic he just met the other day. First he showed her where Hall 1 lecture hall is, or whatever it’s called, then took her to BSSC for some Chips and fresh juice and chips.  In the evening it was a train of Gin bottles for her at the Students Annex and now she’s all confused, and now he’s banging her. Good job Onyango. I’m ashamed of you. I thought ponyoka na fresha ended when Robert  was in campus.

Room number two
Joe had a long day and he’s snoring loudly.  In the evening he had carried Laura’s heavy shopping from the gate to  Hostel, a distance of about 5 kilometers. Laura is a sophisticated uptown chic while Joe is a village boy.  He thinks she likes him but little does he know that she is just with him because of the CATs and assignments. She would rather die than give him the P.

Room number three
Edu is trying to get some sleep but he can’t. His body is itching everywhere. It’s the bedbugs. He thinks to himself, ‘Why can’t the administration do something?’  The bedbugs have become too much. He calls his friend Kevo at and asks him if he can come and share the bed with him. Kevo refuses. He doesn’t want the transfer of bedbugs to his bed. What happened to ‘Akufaaye kwa dhiki ndiye rafiki?’ (A friend in need is a friend in deed)

Room number four
Tings a gwan. It’s puff puff pass on session here.  A fine reggae tune by Chuck Fenda called The Herb is playing on the woofer. Inside the room, William is shouting. He says his pen is walking towards him, coming to attack him.  George is laughing loudly at William. He knows it’s the effect of the weed. Don’t get caught guys, you are going to regret it.

Room number five
John has gone to shower. He hajust made a mistake of leaving his room door open. His roommate is asleep. He comes back to find his laptop and phone missing. He wakes up his roommate and asks him if he saw the thief. The roommate has no idea. John feels like crying, he just bought that laptop two days ago. He still hadn’t even put riddims in it.

Room number six
Karis is still watching a movie with Beth. He still hasn’t figure out a way to go for it. His heart is pounding fast. He badly wants this girl.  He can see she is beginning to get sleepy. The movie is boring her. He hasn’t told her anything. He foolishly asks, “Can I kiss you?”. She is shocked. “What? You know you are like a brother to me.” Haha. My friend, once you are in the brother zone, you will never even touch her. Friend zone is even much better. Brother zone? She won’t even consider. That’s incest

Room number nine
Dan has been standing at the door for 30 minutes. He’s still trying to open it. He’s very drunk and can’t quite locate the lock. He’s seeing several locks. He shouts his roommate’s name a few more times, forgetting that his roommate isn’t in. Of course if he was in, the door wouldn’t have been locked from outside. After several unsuccessful attempts, he blacks out and lies on the floor.

Room number eight
Michael is studying. He’s a focused student who cares about his future. He has a CAT in two days’ time and knows he has to do his best.  Be blessed Michael- a true student.


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