1. Casaurina
This European-owned nightclub is about 20km north of Mombasa City in
Mtwapa, a small, expat-infested community obsessed with partying and
drinking beers at all hours of the day. Casaurina is just as packed on a
Tuesday night as a Saturday.
Get a table in the raised section on the left side of the club. Here
the tables are tall enough that you won’t knock them with your knees —
and spill everyone’s drinks — whenever you sit down, and you have a
great view of the dance floor.
This is one of the biggest ‘pick-up’ clubs for old Europeans and
young Kenyans. Be prepared to see white, wrinkly hands groping the butt
cheeks of sexy, seemingly under-aged young ladies.
Before 11pm, the DJ plays tacky 80′s music. But when the night starts
hotting up, he plays a fun mixture of local Kenyan tunes, dance music
from other parts of Africa, and tons of Rihanna.
Drunken locals (of both sexes) will try and seduce you on the dance
floor. You have two options: turn your back and dance closer to your
friends, or join in by playing a light-hearted game of cat and mouse on
the dance floor. You are the mouse.
Location: In Mtwapa. Heading north on the Mombasa-Malindi road, it is on the right side of the road just after the Mtwapa Bridge.
2. Bango at Naiz
On Wednesday nights, the legendary
Mzee Ngala
and his band play bango at Naiz, also in Mtwapa. Bango was created by
Ngala himself, and has become a local anthem for the coastal people. At
first, the music sounds a little disjointed, and it’s hard to make out a
smooth melody. But give it a couple minutes and you will begin to feel
the trumpets, saxophone, bongos, keyboard, and male voices all come
together.
Bango comes with a very specific dance style. It’s easy.
Bango comes with a very specific dance style. It’s easy. Take a step
to your right and then pop your right butt cheek to the back slightly.
Do not pop it out to the side and don’t bend your torso forward. Then
take a step to the left and pop back your left butt cheek. Step and pop,
step and pop, step and pop.
The music is quite slow so you should be able to keep the beat. You
can mix it up a little by stepping backwards or forwards or slowly
turning around. You can hang your arms to the side or bend them at the
waist. But all the movement should be in the hips and the butt. You
dance alone, not touching anyone, but you can dance beside or across
from your partner.
The songs all sound pretty similar to me, so it’s hard to know when
one song ends and the next begins. I tend to steer clear of asking
anyone to dance, so I can avoid the awkwardness of trying to figure out
when the song ends and it’s appropriate to go sit down.
If the step and pop isn’t working out, don’t worry. The band does
take long breaks throughout the evening to down a few beers. In the
meantime, the in-house DJ plays the hottest tunes and, of course, lots
of Rihanna.
Location: Across from Casaurina in Mtwapa, along the Mombasa-Malindi Road.
3. Bob’s
Your taxi driver picks you up at the hotel. You tell him you want to
go to Bob’s. He knows exactly where you mean. As you enter the gates of
the small parking lot for that mall you were at earlier in the day, you
remind the driver that you want to go to Bob’s, not shopping again.
“Madam,” he says, looking confused, “This
is Bob’s.”
The small parking lot has turned into a cozy, sophisticated-seeming
club. Warm lights bounce off the brown canvas tents sheltering the round
bar tables beneath. Middle class Kenyans are drinking cocktails and
wine and discussing the latest in technology, business, travel, and
politics. If you’re lucky, a group might ask you to join their table.
The warm-up act is a local band, serenading the crowd on the sidewalk
with some laid-back soft rock. Around midnight the DJ takes over and
the transition from retail parking lot to dance floor is complete.
Dance under the stars to local mega hits like Kigeugeu, or Nigeria’s
notorious Ashawo. Don’t worry — the DJ will play Top 40 hits too,
including Kenya’s beloved Rihanna.
Bob’s is also home to Mombasa’s first ice bar. This may sound
appealing in Mombasa’s barely breathable heat, but the only thing icy
about it is the air-conditioning. The drinks are just as cold outside in
the parking lot as they are inside the ice bar.
Location: In the shopping complex on Links road across the street from Nakumatt City mall.
4. Big Tree
Bring a buddy to this beachside disco, preferably one of the opposite
sex. Like Casaurina, Big Tree is one of Mombasa’s biggest ‘pick-up’
clubs, and the scantily clad young ladies can be aggressive in their
pursuit of a white man to be their sugar daddy. If eye contact and
winking don’t work, expect an opener along the lines of, “You look a
little lonely over there, big guy, shall I join you?” And if that
doesn’t get your attention, the next stage is full-on booty insertion
and body-grinding in your personal space.
There are plenty of young beach boys with Bob
Marley dread locks just waiting to make you feel like the most precious
gem along the Indian Ocean.
Ladies don’t escape without pursuit, either. There are plenty of
young beach boys with Bob Marley dread locks just waiting to make you
feel like the most precious gem along the Indian Ocean. That’s why it’s
necessary to have a friend, preferably one that will give off the
impression you are taken.
Big Tree’s large beachfront patio sticks out onto Pirates beach, the
most popular public beach in Mombasa. Sunday is beach day for the locals
who skip church, and after a day in the sun, the crowd moves into Big
Tree and creates a booming Sunday night. The dance floor is packed with
hyper, barefooted Kenyans getting their groove on to the latest hits in
the country and worldwide.
Sitting right on the beach is beautiful, but the service is terrible.
The closer you sit to the bar or the kitchen, the faster you will be
served. We sometimes order three rounds of drinks at the same time so we
don’t have to keep summoning the waiter over.
Location: Head north on the Mombasa-Malindi road. Soon
after the Bamburi Cement factory, you will see a Big Tree sign on the
left side of the road. Turn right and follow the dirt road. Big tree is
located at the very end of the road.
5. Il Covo
Il Covo is like a flashback to a high school house party. The
downstairs is a lovely family restaurant with some of my favorite
Italian food in Mombasa. The disco upstairs resembles a large living
room, with framed photos of all things Italian covering the walls,
arched ceilings guiding you to the bathrooms and lounge areas, and old
fashioned curtains covering the windows. The bar is a small counter in
the corner with a couple of beer fridges, and the DJ plays on a small
table right beside the bartender. Balloons and Christmas lights are
strung across the ceiling for decoration.
The club attracts a variety of Mombasa cliques and is an especially
big hit with the local Indian population. The upside of this is that
there are fewer predators sharking the dance floor. The downside is that
you will likely get a drink spilled down your back while being pushed
around the overcrowded dance floor.
Almost every weekend, a new local or international DJ plays in the
club. The music is bass-heavy and tends more towards techno than other
clubs in Mombasa. But fear not, you are still sure to get a good dose of
Rihanna.
Location: Bamburi Beach, Mombasa. Head north on the
Mombasa-Malindi road and turn right at the Kahama Hotel. Drive down the
dirt road, past Kenya Bay Beach Resort, and you will find the gates to
Il Covo.
