THE COMMUNITY TOILET

“If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweet and wipe the seat!”

When I was a wee one dealing with the complexities "potty training", there was a picture hanging in the main bathroom featuring a little boy using the loo. It had the ridiculous rhyme above under it. Besides proving that my mother had a twisted sense of humor (must have got it from her), the picture was supposed to help us boys keep an eye on the “aiming” issue when we decided we wanted to be less like Mom and more like Dad when it came to answering nature’s calls. It was catchy and the cartoon was a little funny so it worked to some extent.

Fast forward to my adult years and I recently found myself in a bathroom at a prestigious local law firm answering “the call”. Imagine my surprise when I saw the same image on the back of the door in the men’s room. I know lawyers are not "straight shooters" but I assumed it was only when it came to being human beings. You mean to tell me that they can’t hit “the target” when the target is a little water in a big bowl? Failing in marksmanship like this is worrying for a law firm. But it happens. Not just in law firms either. Offices all over the city have little passive aggressive notes all over the place demanding courtesy in the washrooms. Usually it says something like, “Please leave the lavatory clean after use”.... Translation.... “Learn to Aim!”

Since this is a common problem in most offices where the bathroom is a shared venture, I hereby volunteer some ideas on how to deal with it without resorting to passive aggressive notes and cartoons which may end up on some passive aggressive writer’s blog. First of all, uncover the culprit. This is very simple. Take the staff to a paintball arena and tell them to “Have fun”. In the melee, look out for the ones struggling with marksmanship; they are your most likely culprits. 

Secondly, use tact to talk to the individual. There is nothing more entertaining than publicly humiliating a “seat dripper” but that person still has to work for or with you. So call them into a private office and have a heart to heart with them. Share some embarrassing peeing stories of your own to build comfort then advise them to lift the seat before going. My mother taught ME this trick and I haven’t “sprinkled” while tinkling since because there is nothing to sprinkle on. But be sure to highlight how important it is to put the thing back down after business because women get SUPER sensitive about toilet seat positioning… Moving on! 

Finally, has anyone ever thought of inventing a self-cleaning toilet seat? It would save a lot of time and a lot of grief. But because it was MY idea I must insist on having 50% of the profits from sales and naming rights. That or we just set up offices in bushy areas… Think about it, it will come to you.

a.onyango

Read More

Lessons from "3 Idiots"

"Whatever the problem in life is... just say to yourself 'Aal Izz Well'.. This wont solve your problems but it will give the courage to face it.." "Chase Excellence and success will follow".. " Life is not about getting marks, grades but chasing your dreams".. These are the golden rules which 3 IDIOTS teaches you in a very light and entertaining way.. The movie makes you laugh and in the process you learn many golden rules which can alter your life in a big manner...I feel terrible because i only recently discovered about this movie when it had been out there since 2009.



 Not just impressed. I learnt a lot from the movie. What follows is important lessons in life that the movie taught me.This is not a review. Millions have already been written so i wont go there.


 Make your passion your profession. Many students nowadays are attending colleges not with the degree they wanted to take up but with the degree they should take up primarily because of greener pastures they are going to have when they graduate from that certain degree. This is a bittersweet reality. Yes, you may be successful but you’ll never be fully happy. Yes you may learn to be happy but at your deathbed, you’ll definitely have some regrets. You’ll be haunted by the what-ifs of your life. Do not fit yourself into something you do not like because the happiness you’ll get is just half-baked. Whether the passion that you want in life does not pay you big bucks, does not give you luxurious cars, can not afford to let you travel around the world, for as long as you’re happy with it, for as long as the contentment is there, that’s what matters most.

Do not chase success, let success chase you. Easier said than done right? I remember back when I was asked what do I want to become when I get old aside from being a doctor, the thing that comes into my mind is to become successful. I supposed many of you also wanted to be successful in the future. But isn’t that ironic that we chase for success instead of success chasing us? We’ve always wanted to be successful but we put less to no efforts at all to become one. So let’s change our mantra, let’s work hard and let success chase us.

Choose what you love. You might be wondering why there are a lot of people unemployed, or perhaps underemployed, I too have been wondering about that. One of the reason is the mismatch when a Filipino student enters in college. A certain number of college students nowadays were only forced to take up the studies they’re having now because of the promising future it “supposedly” gives. Sad it is and I’ve been there too. Which is why I shifted to another degree. So for the students out there who are still going to enter college, choose what you love because in the end that wont disappoint.

 Be a rebel. Fight the system. Educate yourself. Don’t waste the opportunity for education by just cramming from books. If you must mess with the principal of your college, make sure he has a pregnant daughter(-in-law) and be prepared with an inverter and a vacuum cleaner.

Haha...Didn’t you know – the rebel always ends up a winner?

Read More

My Top Songs of 2012

Leave alone the Billboard, what the critics say on meta-critic and my lovely local music. Whether the song has been charting or not.Here is a list of of the songs that had me going in 2012. I dont really know which song should probably be my best in this short list. Offcourse there have been many good song such as Azonto, Wild Ones, Gangnam Style but their lyrical disability makes the not make the list.

 Ed Sheeran- The A-Team

This song is about a girl who's life is spiraling down. She must have moved out of her house at a young age and gotten her own apartment. But her addiction to (drugs) made it hard for her to pay her rent. Instead of paying her rent, she spent all of her money on drugs. As the addiction went on, she didn't care for the rent as much as she cared for the drugs. She was miserable and her only escape was getting high. She did whatever she could to get money to pay for drugs. In the music video she sells newspapers on the street and then we see that she resorts to prostitution. This is also evident in the lyrics. At this point, she's realized what she's become and she hates who she is. Her only escape from her self hate and depression was drugs. She would rather get high and risk dying than live another day sober in this miserable life she has.

But I also believe that the lyrics indicated a lot of hope. Maybe that she was once a super model or some sort of icon that got addicted to drugs and lost her fame. That's where the "class a team" comes in. Obviously, she's admired for something. I'm just not sure what.

  D'banj- Oliver Twist 

Since it came out it has been making waves in the industry and even still rocks clubs and bobs heads till date. But, when i say “waves”, I don’t mean the regular waves that push rocks on the beach; no, that would be an understatement. When I say “waves”, I mean massive tsunami-type waves that have taken D’Banj ‘s name well across shores.

Many people don't understand the song and therefore do not appreciate it because they do not know the meaning of an Oliver Twist. They apparently did not read the Oliver Twist novel. Put simply, an Oliver Twist is a person who is not satisfied and wants to have everything. Applying that definition to D'Banj's Oliver Twist song, D'Banj is talking about a guy who wants to have all the girls. He wants to have, among other girls, Beyonce, even though she is with Jigga; Nicki Minaj, because her nyansh is bigger; Rihanna, because he makes him gaga; Omotola, because people like her; Genevieve, because she is so sweet; and Nadia Buari, because she does not drink gari.

Gotye- Somebody that i used to know

  






There’s a reason why Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” remained No. 1 for eight weeks on the Billboard Hot 100, making it the third longest running number one single of the year. It’s fucking brilliant. It’s also baffling to think that a track so atypical of a number one song managed to capture the hearts of so many world round—perhaps mainstream music isn’t as doomed as we thought. Gotye manages to balance real nuanced emotions of a tortured heart bested only when the woman he is pouring his heart out to takes the stage revealing his inability to see past his own nose. Accented by a near-perfect music video featuring a naked Gotye and Kimbra, the track is definitely the biggest success that Gotye will ever see, and that’s fine. His stylistic approach to songwriting isn’t long for a prolonged spotlight in the mainstream music scene, but who would’ve guessed that a little tune recorded in his parent’s house could have garnered such monumental international success. Good show.

  Kanye West- Mercy
 "Mercy" directly increased public awareness of "thirsty" as a slang term, making a mark on pop culture that goes beyond radio spins and digital sales. Simply put, it's the year's most undeniable musical moment, and proof that Kanye is as adept at churning out hits as ever before.

 

“Well! It is a weeping and a meaning and a gnashing of teeth. It is a weeping and a meaning and a gnashing of teeth.”

It is no secret that Kanye West is a faithful man, circa “Jesus Walks”, but rarely does he insert obscure Bible references in his tracks. I choose to elaborate on this because I feel that the subtle application of this quote has gone over most peoples heads. The quote comes from Matthew 13:42 and reads, “the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.” With this line Kanye West is inferring that his existence in the the hip hop industry is a great threat to other artists and that he is something of a chosen one since this particular quote is eluding to the second coming of Jesus Christ and the end of the world.

 Frank Ocean- Thinkin Bout You

 


In light of his recent blog 'confession,' I really really think this song is about the relationship he was talking about in it. His first love. Frank said that the guy he was in love with wouldn't admit he had the same feelings when Frank told him how he felt.

I think the verses of this song are fragments of their conversations with each other.

Like, this verse is the guy's response after Frank's confession:
"No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it"
"Since you think I don't love you, I just thought you were cute
That's why I kiss you"

And this verse is Frank's response to the guy after he admits he feels the same way years later. Or I don't know, could still be from the guy's point of view...once they see each other again. .... I haven't decided:
"Yes, of course I remember, how could I forget how you feel?
And though you were my first time,
A new feel.
It won't ever get old, not in my soul
Not in my spirit, keep it alive
We'll go down this road
'Til it turns from color to black and white"

Frank is an inspiration. Incredibly talented.... And I now have an even greater respect for him and his courage to say what he said and speak straight from the heart.

Read More

CHAGA'S AND CHRISTMAS...

I tell my close friend Seanron its Christmas fever and he laughs and tells me its Christmas stress,as we all know Christmas is around the corner ,the jingling bells and the Christmas trees every where but its quite different these days ,the joy of Christmas has fade ,in my growing period i witnessed and celebrated x mass in an epoch way ,but its saddening how these days x mass can be.
I believe that in my country there is only one tribe that knows the ascendancy of Christmas ,and that tribe is well known as the "CHAGA".

The Chaga (also called Wachaga, Chagga, Jagga, Dschagga, Waschagga, or Wachagga) are Bantu-speaking indigenous Africans and the third largest ethnic group in Tanzania. They live near Moshi and on the southern and eastern slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro and Mount Meru. Their relative wealth comes from the favorable climate of the area and successful agricultural methods, which include extensive irrigation systems and continuous fertilization practiced for thousands of years. They were one of the first tribes in the area to convert to Christianity. This may have given them an economic advantage over other ethnic groups, as they had better access to education and health care as Christians.

To chagga's December is a busy month ,a month that is mostly respected by them ,this is the period that they will to close their business just to go home and  celebrate the holiday season.
The Chagga's are one of the respected tribes in Tanzania despite the funny names they are given like ,Misers ,stingy ,cocky or even autistic .I personally admire this tribe though i don't belong there ,but its a tribe that has taken our countries economy to a better place,the chagga's are always serious when it comes to money and that is what has made them successful. 

Ok ..during this month the chagga's at least all over the country take their families to their hometown Kilimanjaro ,and this is the period that if you want to travel heading to the northern zone booking should be done earlier.

Mama Cleme ,Mushi,Muro,Mzee Temba.Kererai,Mamboleo family,Mosha,Kimeyi,Utuoh ,Massawe,Chuwa and not mentioning all, this are common chagga families that close their business and go home ,we have a chaff that we always tell them,that they are going to the village for family census.

Chaggas are well known of their drinking habit,they do love alcohol,may it be the beers or the local brews..When they all meet to celebrate x mass they prepare their local brew called "Mbege" which is made of millet and bananas and left to ferment for 10 days prior to festivities.

Mbege

They prepare various dishes that will feed a number of family members ,Fish is not a major dish in the chagga land ,since its absent the chagga's main dish is meat and banana's .

Some of the foods prepared during festive seasons especially Xmass and New years are Mtori,Ndafu,Kitawa ,Machalari,Kiumbo,kitalolo ,shiro and Ng'ande.

preparation of Ndafu

Ndafu

After having the most delicious cuisine's the Chagga's men will gather together and start drinking,when it comes to festive seasons the Chagga's drink a lot,may it be beer or local brew ,gender isn't the issue but drinking is the talk.

After the late stories and the drinking the good thing of chagga's never forget prayers,"Ruwa" is never forgotten. Ruwa is the Chagga name for their god, as well as the Chagga word for "sun." Ruwa is not looked upon as the creator of humankind, but rather as a liberator and provider of sustenance. He is known for his mercy and tolerance when sought by his people. Some Chagga myths concerning Ruwa resemble biblical stories of the Old Testament.     

Various Foods:

Read More

A BOMB SET IN TANZANIA..

I love my country and am proud of being a Tanzanian ,a country with beautiful features and blessed people ,to my thoughts its among the richest country in the world but to political aspects its always said the country i live in is among the poorest country,it really irritates to hear such a comment but no matter how i cover my ears and the ears of those innocent young growing boys and girls the sound still penetrates to the ear drums,it has been a song that i refuse to enjoy the melody, but yet i just have to listen because of few aberrant minds.
The Old man once said there is a grenade floating in air and its a matter of time till it drops , i call him the old man since his head is full of grey hair ,but no matter how he expressed it i believe he lives among the corrupt ,they share the same meal and they drink the same drink called CORRUPTION.

I refuse to believe we are among the poorest nation but i just have to agree to the fact,but do you all have my point of view ?do you have the feelings that those black boys and girls have?
As i passed through one of the web i managed to see some photos of a well known politician enjoying his holidays at some nearby country ,something came in mind,if i see this picture and my heart is filled with pain and disgust what bout those innocent people that live not knowing what they will feed their families tomorrow?and yet the politician is well known as among the corrupts,he doesn't care enough how the citizens think of him.

I watch the most powerful people in my country conduct a charity ball that raises billions and still i ask myself where are the billions? a son of a brother suffers with pain and we celebrate with the most expensive champagnes.I get to understand we have big casinos and strippers clubs in my country,a place where people waste money ,some throw a bundle of cash at prostitutes while Mama Juma thinks of 500 Tshs to feed his daughters..

Politicians ride the most expensive cars ,while a small village in Manyovu pregnant women die since there are no vehicles to take them to the hospital...and yet we congratulate them.
A wise man once asked me? ,we have had peace for several years , don't you think others get jealous? my mind was so coated back then that i couldn't understand,but i finally got the answer though i didn't want to swallow..

we have preached to them so called leaders but nobody seem to change ,i know what they want,my mind is telling me their building a powerful nuclear bomb full of poisonous stuffs ,and the reason is they want to benefit while we fight ,the importing of weapons that will make them billionaires,despite i hate saying but its on its way,its all coming i tell you.

Last year we just had a riot ,few chaps fighting for their political parties in Arusha ,few were injured and some killed ,i wouldn't compare to the riots Muslims conducted this year in Tanzania and Zanzibar,i don't mean to be bias or offend anyone but all i know this fights are just scams built by the so called "Viongozi".

I pass around streets and i feel the sense of fear and disgust ,everyone talks of politics ,people are angry ,some even fight ...i wish ...i tell you i wish... the "viongozi" they could all hear the murmuring and feel the abhorrence this people have.All i know is they are waiting ,i could compare them to a match box where they are just waiting for somebody to light the stick or i could say a timer bomb that awaits for its minutes to run out and cause a massive catastrophe...

Though i hate to say or believe ,but it has turned Msongo into a sadist ,i walk the streets while my head faces down and my arms folded back ,swinging my head with shame,the shame that got tremendous as i hear people singing ,i turn my head and all i see is children dressed in beautiful outfits that resemble to our national flag,they compete to raise their voices ,they smile as they call the name of our country...TANZANIA....TANZANIA...NAKUPENDA....TANZANIA....they love their country,and after they arrange themselves to make a number,i had to climb a hill to see the number and it was 51..i cite we were turning 51st years of Independence...Seriously??

Image courtesy: Massoud Kipanya

Read More

Les Sapeurs: The Bakongo Gentlemens

 “I met one took his picture then another and soon I met them all. They are not rich men, are very democratic and amazed me by their manners, elegance and attention to detail that provides such a contrast with their shantytown which has been bombed to pieces. And like a lot of African villages is really very dirty, very messy and very haphazard. But they are normal people – anyone can be a sapeur, no one is excluded.”

For the first time in the modern era, the Congolese were empowered after decades of brutality and economic subjugation enforced by foreigners. Papa Wemba, the famous singer credited with popularizing the Sapeur look with his group Viva La Musica, says inspiration partly came from his parents who took great pride in dressing up on Sundays back in the '60s, "always well put together, always looking very smart."

In typical dandy fashion, the Sapeurs consider themselves artists and are respected and admired in their communities. Sapeurs are typically invited to events such as weddings to add a touch of elegance to special occasions. Yet quite uncharacteristic is the Sapeur’s code of conduct, being a Sapeur is not only about dressing and looking amazing, it is also about impeccable manners. It is about style, it is about gestures that differentiate one Sapeur from others.

The dark side to this movement is the lengths some Sapeurs go and have gone through to get their expensive designer clothes. Some have resorted to illegal means to obtain their suits while others have spent time in jail. The infamous Papa Wemba also spent jail time for bringing people into Europe illegally to buy clothes by having them pose as his band members.

While reading about Sapeurs elsewhere online, a lot of emphasis seems to be placed on the fact that most of the men who are part of this subculture come from very impoverished communities. There is lot of talk on just how far these men go in order to buy an expensive suit and how the SAPE is a form of escapism for “poor downtrodden African youths”. The discrepancy between the elegance and style that make a Sapeur and the poor conditions of living are shown as a clash of worlds.

Read More

OLD IS GOLD ,INNOVATION IS BOLD..

I have always been thinking,figuring out how things have quite changed in today's world ,and a colleague tells me that's why its 21st century.
I love technology ,you can count me as a nerd while i don't belong there,modern things have changed people way of living ,they even have a word they call it innovative /innovation in simple language modern ways..i repeat again am a big fun of the modern world,everything is simplified but yet we still suffer that we don't know how.
Growing up i have witnessed different things change ,i remember using a Chinese brick game but now i see my young brother enjoying the play stations and the Xbox ,good graphics and themes unlike i used just to hold that tiny game and arrange the bricks.
My intention here is to tell you things that affect us and yet we love them so much,i spend my whole day using a laptop ,its my daily tool ,i get my works done and it helps me perfect them ,but yet do i know how it affects me? Laptops can be decipher tools but i came to understand it can also make you loose your visual fatigue ,after my eyes blat i saw a doctor and what he concluded was the brightness from my laptop affected my eyes ,despite the laptop simplifying my work it even destroys my body parts,this other time i heard from a colleague that laptops when placed on the laps for a long time they probably destroy your male sexual functions...geez! then why did they call them laptops?Old days there were never stuffs like this so they managed to live long.
The main reason influenced me to write this is while i was listening to the public radio i heard them speaking of Handsets effects ,in our daily life we always use phones as the major source of communication unlike the old years people had to travel for a long distance to deliver the message,as i listened careful they said the radiation from the handsets can affect the human brain and the memory index,it also leads to producing debilitate infants and still it also devastates the male sexual functions.I would prefer the old days ,traveling to deliver the message.
Not living foods ,if you didn't know food is among our greatest enemy,many diseases are caused by foods and yet we don't know ,may it be Diabetes , Hypertension ,Obesity ,Gynecology and many more ,they are 95% caused by the foods we take ,my grand mom lives about eight decades now and yet she is still strong,she avoided foods with high salinity and cholesterol ,but as we pretend we don't know we like eating foods that we all know they affect us,the fried eggs with lots of oil,the french fries a lot of sugar and even chili stuffs,i have lived among food mongers and i understand their bad feeding.Old days they mostly never knew how to cook the sweet things we have now,they boiled everything.
Few days back i wrote an article on how i nursed my cough traditionally ,Medicines also make me choose the old days ,for those who have woken up they no longer use the so called scientific medicines,supplements are the best ,food supplements have been of better.
There is still more to educate you...keep reading..

 

Read More

MOVIE REVIEW:TWILIGHT SAGA(breaking dawn part 2)

Today, a student accused me of bias when I told her I have not liked any of the Twilight films. I haven’t read the books either, but then I have no interest in such dribble. If biased means looking at the quality of a film based on entertainment value, quality of acting and story and other such points, then I am indeed guilty. I believe I attend far too many screenings to be considered too biased, since, I make every effort to offer merit where deserved. I simply look at what is good or bad, entertaining or not, through my own eyes. Luckily, I am not the target audience for the Twilight Saga, because quite simply, I find the whole ordeal idiotic – even this final (thankfully) showing.

Since this newest The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 is a part two, seeing the first is helpful, although viewers can catch up pretty quickly and when the film opens, we find Bella (Kristen Stewart – newly a vampire), Edward (Robert Pattinson) and the rest of the Cullen clan hovering around Renesmee Cullen, the half human, half vampire, child of Belle and Edward. This child is as creepy as the other members of the family, odd redish eyes and the ability to speak through touch. Soon, almost overnight, the infant grows into a young girl, apparently an effect of her bi-creature birth. We also discover that the child imprinted on Jacob (Taylor Lautner), making Bella furious with him at first, but then all seems well – a nearly happily ever after feel.

The story turns when the child is seen by Irina (Maggie Grace). She reports of her existence to the Volturi, who believe the child a danger to their kind. The every-crafty Cullens ban together and gather vampire witnesses to prove that Renesmee is mixed and therefore a threat to no one, and if necessary, to go into battle against the Volturi to protect the girl. Of course, it must come to this and director Bill Condon provides a vividly wild, albeit awkward and bloodless, battle sequence, with a particularly interesting twist (one I appreciated, even if I reviled the rest of the film).  This one glimmer (like Bella’s new body sparkle) of excitement lacks any epic oomph. Truth is, this snippet of slightly entertaining action can’t make up for the previous two-thirds of the film that offers little more than inane dialogue and a great deal of standing around. I felt, at times, like I watched a bad Spanish soap opera, with all the pregnant pauses, awkward glares and idle bantering.

From my perspective, a poorly penned, ridiculous romance is a poorly penned ridiculous romance regardless of who loves whom– perhaps made even more dismal when the lovers are oddly self-controlled immortals (or human and vampire as used to be the case).   I still contend, although she looks ridiculously far more beautiful as a living-dead person, Stewart’s Bella mouth breathes and this drives me nuts and everyone else looks so humorless, even when they try for funny, that I can’t help but wonder if they, too, found the whole ordeal as dull as dirt. Furthermore, knowing the actress recently cheated on her long time boyfriend/co-star made their love scenes and romance even more absurd and silly. And they are silly!

Final Grade: D+

Read More

KONYAGI VS KIBAO..

After a very long week i decided to go and have that beautiful view at the lake,but what makes the visit so untold is i met a very close comrade who i never expected to meet anytime soon,a guy that we schooled together in primary school moreover we never used to like each other ,but after we met there was no option rather than joining and pretend we were close friends.
This dude was among the most cocky dude i had ever seen ,all he did is talk about his bank accounts and how many girls he would sleep with in a day..in between our hypocrite conversation  a waitress appeared and asked what we wanted,the thirstiness i had for Konyagi made me not to blench but answer agilely ,he also ordered the same thing.
This weirdo comrade  has been in Kibaki land quite for sometime(Kenya) and his favorite drink is Kibao ,Kibao is among the best Vodkas made in Nairobi,so after he sipped the Konyagi he frowned and spitted the drink,i was caught by surprise and asked what was the matter,he looked at me as if i poisoned him,my medulla triggered thinking it was time i was called a murderer ,he stopped starring at me and he sighed for a while and then he expressed a mirth,after seeing him smile at least my hypertension lowered then loudly he spoke "what a rabelaisian drink !! ,in seconds i couldn't figure out what was the problem with the drink soon to realize he was a joker,"have you ever tested Kibao Vodka?"
What a caitiff ,"yes i have!
I knew where these was heading ,he never wants to loose ,so he started challenging me that Kibao was way better than Konyagi ,i would watch him and say he doesn't know how far i come with this drinks ,i really don't have a good history with both of them ,Konyagi made me get knuckled the first day i had it,i got tipsy and the next thing i know is i fall on a nearby table of customers and break all the bottles ,made me have a black eye whole the week.
Kibao also ,first time i had kibao was at Simba Carnivore Nairobi ,i can never forget this day since i was with my crazy pal Simon ,we had many and the next thing is we were found at the parking lot the next morning...
As we talked and talked i noticed my partner was just sipping the Konyagi without realizing that he spitted it earlier ,later on we noticed we were all tipsy ,and we all concluded that the drinks are all better but they just differ on the smell , i think our opinion isn't quite right since we were all smiling as if we were stoned,why not test this drinks and share your comment on which is better but also remember too much drinking is harmful for your health..

Read More

THEY SAY 15 DAYS TILL THE END OF THE WORLD

After a big success of about 350 viewers that read my article about the end of the world ,and as i promised there things that i would like to spit out and clear my chest before the dooms day ,so i would like to continue even though am ranking my believes high that the world is never going to end soon but let me just be prudent.

1.RUTHLESS POLITICIANS

If i were to define politicians i would say they are all liars ,few will portray honesty but the rest are just those filthy stinky animals ,i have witnessed a lot with politicians,they have always treated as like animals or slaves.Why treat a man that has lived 3 decades with dishonesty.Why not shut your loudspeakers if you cant bring change to the society..If as they say that its only 15 days to the end of the world not a fib then definitely you shall answer the consequences.

2.BUMPER TO BUMPER

I was born in a noisy town,in my country they would call you "mjanja" a town boy ,i wouldn't want to be a town boy no more ,it sucks and what makes it suck is the traffic jam,i would rather not stay in town ,the traffic is hectic and it gets worst day by day i tell you,spending 2 hours bumper to bumper is so tiresome,but as they say i think its all going to be over soon...

3.CONVICTED FOR CHICKEN THEFT

 

Justice hasn't been of good lately, some days passed i decided to visit one of the biggest prison in my country,it was then i realized justice was just a story i was told by my grand mom,most of the victims in prisons are there falsely ..one i heard was in for stealing a chicken ,its dame right he /she should be punished but whats wrong here is we have victims that are well known by the government of stealing billions of cash but they are never imprisoned.Am forgetting the song justice but wait till is over in few weeks.

4.BOOBIES BITCHINESS

This might bring misunderstanding between me and my lady friends but to be frank enough those things are disturbing,sometimes i think of asking for a sip that's how pervert i get, imagine my part time photography trainer hangs them up ,the destruction makes me forget the composition ,i definitely don't mean to offend any one but please consider your attire my lady friends...the booby hanging style isn't that bad but not in the afternoon please..

5.CORRUPTION

It has been a song that nobody wants to dance moreover the melody is touchy,i cant wait till corruption is over ,it hasn't done me the best ,i remember this one time me and a friend were refused to take a photograph at one of the museums while the notice rules never restricted,the young ugly man told us in order to have a photo we should pay him a sum of 10,000/= ($10) ..

6. NICKI MINAJ

oooohh fake,ooohh fake, should i call you micky minaj?despite of the beautiful songs you have ,every other thing is a fake ,it started with the booty,then boobies,hips,nose and guess what is going to be the next thing,girl you are  fake..trust me its gone too much ..why fake everything?you used to be a pretty little charmer ,there is a name in my country that we call people like her "mbulula"...FAKE...i say FAKE... 

to be continued ...i still haven't spitted everything...

Read More

Spread the Chrismas Cheer

Has the Christmas mood started to settle in, at work or at home? Not yet huh? I know. A few workmates were talking about how it just doesn’t feel the same. We are not being bombarded with Christmas songs from the radio and the mobile vans selling movie/series DVDs and CDs.

By the way, if you plan to buy a few Christmas music CDs from those mobile truck people, ensure they play the CD so you can hear the music before you purchase it. Another workmate was telling me about how he and a colleague were sold blank DVDs.

But back to Christmas and the festivities. Somehow, the mood seems low. By this time last year, we were seeing lots of adverts on where to spend Christmas and how malls and such like were giving discounts and having sales. These same malls were endlessly decorated. Talk in the offices was about where people intended to spend Christmas day, how much they would be spending, who they would be visiting and who they would be dodging. But there is hardly talk of that yet.

I used to have a problem with people preparing for Christmas too early. I would frown when Christmas songs started to play in November or when companies would start to send their gift bouquets in the first week of December. Now, I must say that I miss it. It’s been a hard long year.

                                      Why we need the Christmas spirit

We need to be cheered up. We need to remember that however tough things get, we should spare a moment to put the frowning and sadness away and laugh and smile with friends and loved ones. And the Christmas cheer has a way of doing that.

Even the most cynical of people and atheists will be found humming a song or two. The mean parent or guardian will find themselves buying some meat, for the first time in weeks, so that the family can feast. The ever busy spouse will find time, even if it is just a day or two to spend with the partner and children.

I know we should not be looking forward to Christmas just because of the food, the gifts we might get, time off from work, the beautiful decorations and buying stuff at much lower prices. As much as it is a cliché, the reason for the season is Jesus and it is important that we always remember that. I think though that Jesus would like us to be happy, celebrate his birth (in a proper manner) and come together as family and friends.
So let’s put the long faces away and be of good cheer.

Read More

HALLOO! AM CHAUSIKU..

I appreciate on those who read my articles,few emails and phone calls i get everyday they keep me motivated.
As always i write about matters that either leave me in a dilemma or matters that irritate me,sometimes i write about the best and happiest things and my adventures in general..
I think about people names in my country and i find them so attic ,i don't mean to offend any one ,my exposure to different places has been adequate ,as i sit preparing myself for a better afternoon at the office i receive a client ,as always i attended the client and applied some of my creativity to do the work she asks for carefully but at the end i ruined it ,and the weird part is after she told me her name i gagged ,she looked provoked how stupid i was not to hold the laughter.
What made me express the mirth really?despite on how her name was weird i could not have laughed ,how rude of me.
In Tanzania parents name their children many names,but they really have bad choices of names,despite me having one of the weird names "msongo" which actually means stress or an enthusiast ,but this client had  a name that i asked myself questions...why name your daughter night "chausiku" ? this is not the only name i came across, "Shida" meaning suffering , "Maumivu" meaning pain ,"kijiko" meaning spoon and many other names.
Its time we call our children good names ,a name can make one have bad future,of course naming your kid Maumivu the name will already make the kids future hell,who will want to hire someone called pain?
I have seen people called "tabu"( trouble) and yet they are the annoying people ever.

Read More

HEY!! AM NAKED BUT DON'T LOOK

Am getting irritated with manners of my sisters these days,few months back i posted an article on how women can be complicated and confusing,the fact that they use an hour on the mirror irritates a lot of my drinking mates.
Today while i was in a public bus i saw something so confusing ,and trust me attractive too,and this issue isn't the first am seeing ,i have seen quite the same scenarios.
My eyes have no curtains,and surely you cant block them since you didn't place them,ok let me set the scenes for you,as the bus stopped boarded an aesthetically appealing lady,her scent of smell was expensive i tell you she was wearing those Victoria Secrets smell,the cat walk was so professional like Meagan Good's ...i could barely stop staring at her though i knew starring is the rudest thing ever.
Her beauty was an epoch but something came in between ,she was dressed into a mini skirt and breast lifting top or in other words me and my lads call them "boobies hangers",seriously i had much questions ,"why dress like that in the afternoon,she looked too prepared ..As i was enjoying her beautiful essence it got too much that it was acerbic .
don't judge me for starring since i wasn't the only one,next to me sat an old grandpa age ranging 90's ,the old papichulo couldn't stop starring too,but soon as he aghast the lady noticed and she never liked the fact that the old man was starring so she took her purse and covered her thighs ,i almost did slap the old man since it was the end of me enjoying the aghast.
The lady as she reaches her destination she uses abusive words towards the old man,telling him how starring is rude ,but wait a minute,how is starring rude while you want me to stare ? why dress like Lucifer's model and tell me to close my eyes,i don't find the sense in that ,you hang your boobies like a female chimpanzee in a zoo and yet you abuse an innocent old man who thought the starring was a pleasure to him.
I don't blame on how you dress my sisters , in fact i am a big fan ,but a word of advice is wear the outfits in a conducive environment ,for God sake not in a public bus , i don't mind a mini short ,actually its far a sexy style but not a mini skirt and further more it also makes you not comfortable ,covering yourself with a purse...

Read More

NURSE ME TRADITIONALLY....

I wonder how we treat ourselves these days ,last time my young sister had malaria we had to get her to the hospital and probably the doctor did prescribe Metakelfin, a dose that they believed it will make her fine again ,and why lie after the dose few more days then i find her happily singing at the mirror,this defined her health was getting better.
Perhaps they all didn't have my perspective,i  do hate drugs,i believe almost every disease can be cured by faith,food and traditional medicines,the fact i spent my childhood with my grand mom i think i got spoiled.
Sometimes i think i might be living amongst witch doctors ,no matter how sick i will become i usually refuse take the so called English drugs,i use different local ways treating myself and sure they do help me..
Last weekend i had a cold ,and i was convinced to use the so cold mentholin Syrup ,but i couldn't hesitate on refusing ,i got to my traditional healing as usual ,my little annoying sister keeps laughing on the methods i use to nurse my cough ,i really don't care if she finds me a weirdo trust me its worth it.
Nursing my cough its so cheap ,i don't need to see a specialist for it ,first what i do is just get my self a raw ginger and there goes the chewing,trust me the taste is so irritating but for better outcome i have to squeeze my eyebrows for me to be fine.Raw ginger is the best way to treat a cough i tell you ,i personally prefer raw ginger nursing my cough in Swahili will call them "tangawizi"

Apart from raw ginger i used some other ways to nurse my cough ,Honey! honey can be sweet but also can be the best medicine of cough and cold,my grandma always says honey when is taken at the right way it probably cures a lot of diseases,you can take tea spoons of honey or you can mix it in a hot cup of tea.. theoretically honey can help reduce duration of cold.

Lemon and garlic another way of curing cough and even flu,My grandma she is kind of an angel i tell you she took lemon and garlic ...mixed with honey and ginger and what was formed was quite amazing i had to scoop each day a table spoon ,after few days i was feeling quite okay.

Raw eggs ,this one i got from a Kenyan friend ,drinking raw eggs is the last thing i would definitely want to do,i have never tried this but i hear it among the best ways of curing a cough...this day even chicken eggs cure cough how cool it is...

Read More

WHAT I HATE IN MOVIE THEATERS...

I am a big fun of movies ,i keep on preaching to friends how much i am a movie freak,if am not on a safari i would definitely spend my weekend watching movies.Me and my Lad Seanron spend most of our weekends in movie theaters.
I love theaters but there things that make me uncomfortable when watching movies ,i really had a hard time while watching "Sky fall " i could barely concentrate on the movie.
If i wanted to watch a movie with lots of destruction ,phones beeping , murmuring and the coldness of Antarctica i would definitely call upon my comrades at my place, switch the air condition to the maximum level and watch a movie while chatting..but because i want the calmness and the big projected movie plus the  tremendous sound i have to get a ticket earlier ,but now days the cinema is invaded. 
Are there any rules on who to bring at the cinema's ,last time i was watching a movie some woman brought her child with,the kid started frowning and next thing was her annoying crying style ,and what is more worse is they were just beside me.."EXCUSE ME" why bring a baby at the theater ?get a nanny or something,why waste my exquisite moment and the concentration i had for Bond?matter of fact i wouldn't want to miss a thing since the tickets are quite expensive these days.
I sometimes ask myself if all people who go to cinema's know how to read ,or quite a few are capable of reading,I really don't understand why one could go blind on all the ads around the theater that say switch off the phone or put them in silent mode?I have witnessed and got distracted by the ring tones and the vibrations,"Hey switch your God dame phone off",and the worst part it had to ring while i was watching the expendables past few months.
And who the hell controls the Air condition?I dot get the logic of the air vent controller or whoever is in charge,"Bros ,its too much". It destructs my concentration i tell you,why the high temperature ?and without caring enough it doesn't matter whether its winter or summer ,i am almost always freezing in theaters and i tel you am not the only one that freezes ,i have witnessed people carrying blankets and jackets ."please whoever deals with the thermostat should do something about it..
popcorn's,popcorn's ...i love popcorn's but whoever thought of them being one of the refreshments during movie times was not right i would say,if you also get the same problem as i, am sure you will support me on this ..if you are surrounded with civilized people you wont notice the trouble but if next to you is a retard weighing about 500 pounds and he is a food monger that would want you to hear his irritating way of chewing then you will face the heat..this kind of scenario has been among the common i face.Please "grow up  and chew well".
Ohh i almost forgot the story tellers ,i would like to call them Second hand directors ,stupid them ...they watch the downloaded versions before premiere then they come to theaters to tell us whats going to happen next...next time i meet such a person i would definitely punch his face..
To conclude is i have seen a five year old girl in the theater before and you wouldn't want to know what movie was on screen ,"Hannibal"..scary right,it leaves me surprised ,i barely see children on animation premieres in my country ,but horror you would see at least five of them...what is just happening??
Please people change,theaters are places i go find my peace,change ...change...

       

Read More

TANZANIA RICHEST MAN ON FORBES LIST..(net worth $520M)

Said Salim Awadh Bakhresa (born 1949 in Zanzibar, is an extremely reclusive Tanzanian business tycoon.

He is the founding father and the Chairman of the Bakhresa Group Of Companies. He is a well-known industrialist in the mainland of Tanzania and island of Zanzibar. With a humble beginning as a small restaurateur in seventies, he created the business empire within a span of three decades. He is the mastermind behind the success of all the businesses within the group. His vision and excellent managerial skills contributed to the growth of this group to great heights.

At the age of 14, he dropped out of school to become a potato mix salesperson and would later go on to become a successful African businessman.Bakhresa Group; is a conglomerate of various companies and is the largest milling company in East Africa with operations in Tanzania and five other countries.

After getting into the potato mix industry, Bakhresa got involved as a restaurant operator in the 1970s and then went into grain milling. Even today, the main products from Bakhresa's company comes from the Kipawa Flour Mill where various rice and grain products are being processed. The neighboring country of Rwanda is dependent on Bakhresa's mill to provide 120,000 tons of wheat flour per year; which is expected to ease pressure of food prices in a country which approximately 52% of households don't have an adequate level of food security. This is a major concern according to the World Bank's Country Assistance Strategy. Bakhresa's projects in Rwanda are also expected to create jobs and help to increase national corporate tax revenues.

His group employs more than 2000 people and is Tanzania's largest conglomerate. Other specialties produced through Bakhresa's conglomerate includes: confectioneries, frozen foods, various kinds of drinks, and packaging. The Azam brand is Bakhresa's most successful chocolate and ice cream manufacturer in Tanzania. While the company is managed by his sons, Bakhresa owns the company itself. Its daily capacity for manufacturing is 2100 metric tons and made sales of $800 million in 2011. Bakhresa's Azam Marine division is providing international tourists with quick ferry services as more people discover Tanzania. In addition to Zanzibar, riders can also experience Lake Victoria and Mount Kilimanjaro.

Bakhresa is helping to reduce the effects of malaria on his employees by preventing the spread of the disease at his workplaces. As a result, Bahkresa's firm only spends about $3400 USD a month for malaria medication as opposed to $10000 USD per month to heal its sick workforce. They stopped using Fansidar; a monotherapy drug in favor of more effective artemisinin-based therapies that utilizes polytherapy. Other companies are united with the Bakhresa Group to stop malaria in their region. Residents of Tanzania who work outside of Bakhresa's company have also benefitted from Bakhresa's crusade against malaria in Africa.

Read More

25 AWESOME TIPS For a Beautiful Life.

if you implement all of these or only half of it then you life will be easy and awesome.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything !

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: In five years, will this matter?’

17. Help the needy,Be generous ! Be a Giver’ not a Taker’

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is,it will change.

21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed,Pray to God and Be thankful for what you’ll accomplish, today !

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. Share this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier life!!!!

Courtesy of:dewjiblog

Read More

WEDDINGS ARE APISH....

Weddings give me goosebumps ,its not that i hate seeing people tying  that knot but it really scares me that each day i have to witness breakups and divorces..
In other countries wedding are simply done with no complications ,the weds go to church and get back home to celebrate with few friends and loved ones .
But in my country Tanzania its quite different i tell you , what am trying to set here are scenes that most weddings in my country have to do despite the few ones where involves rich people...
First after approaching your lovely girl by using different sugar coated words and finally getting her that doesn't mean its the end of the story ,one stress after the other will haunt you ..one of the stress is the dowry.Its quite different in my country ,i get to understand in some cultures like Indians the woman has to pay dowry for the man ,but here in Tanzania the man has to pay the dowry and not just something small,you have to give out what the ladies family wish to have ...
some of the few things that they will order you to bring are ,Grandpa's Blanket and Stick ,Grandma's Bed sheet and a traditional cloth known as "Khanga",next are the parents , Dads shirt and suit and others order some more difficult things ,for the mother a bag full of fancy clothes and don't think that's it you still have the uncles and aunties not forgetting the sisters and brothers .
After Dowry process ,you still have long meetings that will definitely waste time and money...after meetings we have the so called Kitchen party ,a party where men are not allowed , i always ask myself what's the use of this party ,and why call it kitchen party ,i wonder if they teach them to cook in this parties or is it a meeting where women plan on eliminating men's courage.i hope its not a fake party where missiles and grenades are targeted to us.
Kitchen party cant be the end ,they still have to do the Send Off party...Holy me...why a send off party? i have never gotten allegiance of this party also...this is where the girl exposes the Husband to the public ,i really don't understand why expose him at a send off party while you can still expose him at the wedding...
Then finally the wedding ,where invitations are given to more than a hundred people ,a presidential like escort to the venue ,the part that i mostly hate ,noise pollution i could say ,why press the horns to the public ,can it be silently...and why blow trumpets loudly like having a monarchy ambling band ...
The whole process gets me into a surprise ,i really dont understand the logic of everything and yet we call ourselves poor.ooohh i almost forgot that how generous people from our country are, they will donate any amount of money for weddings but not a penny for education ..and yet we call ourselves poor ...i find it apish..

Read More

Greatest Singing Voices In Tanzania PT 1

Banana Zorro



Banana Zorro is most certainly one of the best vocalists of all time in Tanzania. The inaugural winner of Tanzanian version of American Idol wowed the country with his incredible vocals and still today is considered as one of the best singers in the nation, simply because his voice is so rich and powerful. On top of the richness of his voice, he is also the most versatile singer of all time. Being able to change his voice to fit almost any genre ranging from R&B, Zouk, Pop, just to name a few. Coming from a very talented musical family some his classic hits include Mama Yangu, Mama Kumbena, Nzela, Zoba, Anakudanganya etc  Lady Jay Dee  

There's not enough words to describe Jay Dee's voice. It's powerful. Soulful, raw, beautiful, sweet, emotional, rich and strong. She's the best female singer in the Country. From her debut charismatic vocals in the timely classic "Machozi" to her seductive, yet appealingly unique and sexy voice. Jay Dee has proven she is the whole Package. Nobody interprets a song like this lady, and she can sing in almost any genre without losing her renowned style.At her best very few can complete with her  Diamond Putting away all the negative criticism and public slaughter this guy gets. Whether you like him or not the boy has one the best Vocals in the nation. The "mbagala" hit maker works hard and devotes a lot to his music.Being a trendsetter, promoters have pay a lot of chunk to have this guy perform. Growing up from a poor family makes him get easily carried away with wealth and fame, but i believe once he grows out of it he can become a legend.  Chegge  
 Chegge Chingunda, probably has the most unique singing voice in the industry. Its just your typical "swahili" type of singing with distant elements of Bob Marley and rather K'naan.  Coming from Manyema family all the Way to TMK family, Chegge has managed to establish himself as one of the most talented singers in the business. He might not be hitting the notes but Chegge's voice is unique and has a rich sense of originality.  Linah   
Relatively new to the game, this songstress has the ability to become one of the best singers to ever come out of the nation if she puts focus on it. With such a powerful voice she can sing about any genre of music.    

Read More

SIRI YA MTUNGI (Tanzanian best series by John Riber)

Siri ya mtungi is a Tanzanian TV series that will educate you and make you understand the E.African way of living especially Tanzania.

A series that explains the life of a photographer known as cheche ,Cheche is a owner of a photograph studio known as mtungi.Cheche has a wife a wife that together they raise their two kids and while the wife is pregnant of the third one.

Cheche is trying to find a solution on how he can start a new business after knowing life wont be more easy since he is expecting another child.

A series created by MFDI Tanzania  under the Director John Riber  an expertise that has done alot in the film industry ,doing films like Neria and Yellow Card.John Riber has quite brought a change to African films many admire his work .

The series aims at bringing development in Tanzania.

For more info:www.siriyamtungi.com

Read More