Friday, August 10, 2012


I NEVER bother people while they are at work. Unless I work with them because then I consider MYSELF to BE their work and can bother them all I want. This rule has a lot to do with the family dynamic in my younger years. There is nothing The General detested more than being interrupted while he was  plotting the demise of Kenya’s enemies to answer trifling questions. God help the off-spring responsible for pulling him away from work. 
Saturday night I was very upset with my friend The Veteran because he kept slowing down the car to make witty snips at the “commercial sex workers” along clock tower Road. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted some “take out”. It was mostly because when he drinks he can be a bit of a douche. I was upset for two reasons.
First of all, prostitutes make me very nervous and I don’t like that (it’s a sign of weakness). Think about it, these are women who have sex professionally. If that does not intimidate the average man then I don’t expect it to intimidate me. In addition, have you ever seen the police parade them and their “Johns” in front of media cameras while they explain the situation in a funny accent? Hilarious, isn’t it? Well one of my phobias is BEING one of those faces in front of the camera. So if that’s going to happen to me then it won’t be because of some “drive by fun”, am just saying.
The second reason I was upset was something one of them did when my friend slowed down. She smiled and said “Hi”, as if we were long lost friends then attempted to make conversation with me. Don’t get me wrong, she was very pretty and rather classy. Her diction was a clear indicator that she has had a high level of education. Quite frankly, if we met at the pub we had just come from and struck up a conversation, I probably would not be able to tell the difference. But the fact that I knew what she was made me avert gaze and concentrate on the dashboard.
Her actions upset me because it was making me see her as a human being. Years of Bible study classes, religious schools and funny news reports have taught me that prostitutes are NOT people. So the fact that one was trying to humanize herself before me was confusing. Where does she get off changing my world view? I thought they were in the “happiness inducing” business. That did NOT make me very happy. I’ll be honest I’m very confused right now.
No one in their right mind stands on a dark road, in freezing temperatures, wearing a skimpy outfit for fun, right? She’s out there trying to pay the bills. A dala dala conductor once told me in my varsity days, “We are all occupational prostitutes. Look at me, I hang on the side of a door for 19 hours a day just  to give someone else all the money I collect for screaming out a name” (the way he said it was much more vulgar… and fun). So, in the spirit of prostitution unity, whether we agree with prostitution or not, let’s not bother people while they are at work, OK?

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